


I picture it, soft (And I ache)

by Agent_Beyonce



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Jaskier | Dandelion, Soft Jaskier | Dandelion, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, a little bittersweet at the beginning but mostly soft, no beta we die like witchers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:13:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22957714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_Beyonce/pseuds/Agent_Beyonce
Summary: Geralt was everything love wasn’t for Jaskier.And yet Jaskier fell for him anyway.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 12
Kudos: 216





	I picture it, soft (And I ache)

Love for Jaskier was always fleeting, temporary, it was loud and full of dramatics. Love was beauty and love never stayed. He fell in love with everybody a little bit, he fell in love in the way they smiled or that one sentence they said or just the way they carried themself or some other small thing, he fell and fell and never stayed. He had just so much love in himself, so much happiness and he gave it away always leaving a piece of himself with everyone he fall for. So loving for Jaskier was never a problem, never a thing he needed to hide, his affection always visible, always loud and dramatic like his love.

But then came Geralt.

And Geralt was quiet, he was lacking dramatics, wanting everything to be simple, and Jaskier… Jaskier wanted Geralt to stay.

Geralt was everything love wasn’t for Jaskier.

And yet Jaskier fell for him anyway.

He fell for him in a way he never did. 

He loved the quiet moments in the camps where he was allowed to quietly hum, to brush Witcher’s hair and braid it, where he was allowed to sit close enough for their shoulders to touch, where they don’t needed words.

He loved the moments when Geralt came back to the Inn after a fight with another monster and his eyes always seek out him first, always Jaskier. And he stood there filthy and gory and there wasn’t anything beautiful about him. Shouldn't be anything beautiful about him and yet Jaskier felt like he was the most beautiful thing in this whole village. Even covered in guts of some monster.

He loved the private moments when they just banter with each other, he loved the quiet laugh Geralt let out everytime Jaskier made a particularly funny joke. When they weren’t a bard and witcher and rather just Geralt and Jaskier. When nothing needed to be killed and the songs that were created where soft and tender and only for these moments, never to be heard again.

He loved the way Geralt cared about him. Even if the man insisted that they weren’t friends his action always spoke otherwise. He showed his care in buying Jaskier new things when he needed them like new lute strings or maybe a fur for winter when his old one is becoming pretty useless, things like that. He also showed his care in giving him larger portions of food, by staying at inns more frequently than he would if he had been on his own, and thousand other quiet, unspoken things. It was always unspoken, some agreement that they wouldn't be talking about this was made when Geralt presented him with a new notebook when Jaskier was finishing his current one. The agreement was made when Jaskier looked at the gift and the witcher who looked so lost as if he didn't know what to do with himself and the bard was lost for words. He was a man of many words but in that moments words weren't just good enough, too loud for something so precious, so he just smiled and hoped the witcher saw the love and how grateful he was in him anyway.

So Jaskier loved Geralt and this love wasn’t fleeting, this one wasn’t here to loudly proclaim and bear rejection from the witcher and move on. No, Jaskier knew he would break if he had been rejected, not only that but he would lose Geralt and he didn’t want that, couldn’t bear the thought of that. 

So he stayed silent about the matter.

He stayed quiet when he and Geralt travelled together for a decade. 

He stayed quiet after a djinn, after Yennefer, when his heart was broken and all he wanted to do was to scream. The heartbreak was hitting him in waves but he knew that he set himself up for one when he chose Geralt in that tavern in the middle of nowhere and he stayed quiet because even if it hurt he still could be near Geralt and it was enough. It was enough for Jaskier wanting heart to be a little okay.

He slipped during the dragon hunt but the harsh words from Geralt where enough to remind him that he doesn't get to have that. He doesn’t get to have Geralt.

So he stayed quiet about his feelings after Geralt come for him with little princess to apologize. When the man told Jaskier he needs him, that he want him around, he knew that it was all forgiven. He knew it was all forgiven the moment he saw him but he needed to hear that. He needed that to mend his ripped heart a little. 

He stayed quiet about his love for Geralt even when they started travelling together again now with the addition of little Ciri.

He stayed quiet and ache for him and oh god how much he wanted to softly say the words to the man. Not loudly, only for him to hear, just for them to see the love of the human that followed the witcher for nearly his whole human life.

The love that was quiet, and familiar and private and permanent. Soft and tender. Born out of choice not some fate or destiny. 

And Jaskier felt satisfied with that. He was satisfied with loving the witcher. Even if said Witcher never looked at him the same way, Jaskier was gonna be satisfied with looking and not being looked back at.

Satisfied with soft touches, quick, never lingering like he yearns for.

Satisfied with small laughs and smiles.

Satisfied with sitting with Geralt and Ciri and sometimes feeling like real part of their little family even if he knows it's another delusion he's falling into but he can't help it with the way the little girl always comes to him with her nightmares. Not to scary looking, protective Geralt but Jaskier with his gentle touches and soft tunes and loving smiles. Can't help thinking he's a part of them when they are sharing a meal and Ciri is laughing at something he did or said and Geralt has that little content smile on his face and the bard feels warm and safe and happy. 

He can't help feeling all warm and giddy when Ciri calls him her dad sometimes in small villages where he isn't recognised. He knows it's only as a cover, he knows it's fake but still everytime she says it he thinks about the three of them like that, with Geralt and Jaskier being her parents. He know it's stupid to think about that. So he settles for being warm and giddy and not thinking about the reason why. Because while Geralt might be her dad in some way, Jaskier knows he isn't part of that. But that's okay.

It's okay as long as he gets to be near them, loving them as if they were his. Because they were his family even if he wasn't theirs. He didn't care for destiny nor bounds of blood. He believed in choice and he chose them as his family and nothing can stop him from loving them.

And he was overwhelmed with love when he get to braid Ciri hair like once he braided Geralt. He didn't braid Geralt hair, not since the mountain, he didn't know if it would be welcome. Since his Wife Wolf had apologised things between had been more fragile and Jaskier still didn't know if the gesture would be welcome. But his little girl loved having her hair braided and Jaskier loved doing it for her. It was their thing, the bard would always tell her some of his and Geralt adventures while doing it or would calmly hum only for them to hear. It was a soft moment between them where Ciri could feel a little more like a child, a child who gets her hair braided with love and care and doesn't need to worry about the world that is trying to get her.

Jaskier and Geralt tried to make Ciri feel like that more often, they both wanted her to be okay, to know that she deserves to be a child a little longer. In the moments when it was accomplished they would look at each other with a little pride smiles and Jaskier heart could burst out of his chest because it seemed so domesticated and in that moments he felt like a part of this weird little family the most.

But he knew that he wasn't, he wasn't a part of them but that's was okay for him as long as he can have this moments. As long as he can stay. 

All he needed in his life was Geralt and as long as he can follow in his footsteps he was okay.

Yet for all this good things Jaskier was still weak and wanting. Sometimes he would just look at Geralt and looked and pictured how would it be if he would looked back, he pictured the soft touches that linger, the loud lovestruck smiles and laughs, tender kisses and hushed promises. Sometimes he would look at the man and would just think of all the songs he's not gonna write because they're too full of love for this man. The songs that are never gonna be heard, always just stuck in his head. The lines about begging to let him stay, about begging to give him a chance to prove that he's love is worthy. He stayed silent about this too and just ached from this love. 

Love that he thought was never going to be reciprocated. 

But Geralt destroyed that assumption with just one line said while they were laying under the stars, Ciri long asleep. They were talking. Since Geralt apologised the nights often turned into hours of hushed conversations meant to mend the broken relationship, meant for Geralt to know Jaskier better, to finally let him in. So maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that it was in that moment that Geralt uttered the words that shattered Jaskier's worldview.

"Sometimes I look at you Jaskier and I am afraid that I won't find you there."

Jaskier heard the words in between that weren't said. He heard the _'I look at you'_ and _'I_ _want you to stay_ '. Jaskier thought he's gonna burst with emotion. Geralt was looking.

Geralt was looking back at him.

In this moment, when they were laying under the stars, fire gently cracking, the girl that they practically are raising together sleeping nearby, with all their things laying around the camp or secure on Roach, mingled together in a way you would never know which thing is Jaskier's and which Geralt's if you didn't know them, in this tender quiet moment that is just so like them Jaskier understood. 

Jaskier understood and bursted with all the lines of the songs he didn't dare to sing earlier. In no particular order words were falling out from his lips.

"Oh Geralt, Geralt my sweet beautiful love, I am always there even when you aren't looking I'm standing there always ready to follow you wherever you go. Geralt, my life is yours, everything that I have and everything that I am is yours." The Witcher was looking at him, looking at him with love that Jaskier was too stupid to notice earlier. He took his hand gently kissing it and continued whispering, spilling his little wanting heart out. "When we met I knew you had me already, I was so young Geralt but I knew I was yours even if I didn't think you were mine-"

"I am." Geralt also whispered cutting Jaskier off. "I am. Yours that is."

And the words were enough for Jaskier to melt, he wanted to cry from all the love and happiness he felt. He was speechless so he settled for just kissing the witcher.

The kiss was light, just a touch of the lips. It was everything Jaskier dreamt of. The gentleness of it, the fact that Geralt's hand was still in his between them, that his other hand was in the soft white hair, the feeling of them so familiar from when he used to braid them and yet so knew because of the concept. When they ended the kiss Geralt rested their foreheads against each other.

"I am a man of many words…" Jaskier started in a breathless hushed tone."...but you make me speechless. You make me want to have the silent moments and everything you want to give me. Geralt please don't look away now, my heart can't take it if you're gonna look away now." He was begging but it didn't matter right now because he was weak and he was wanting and he was so, so in love.

"Everything, I want to give you everything Jaskier." Geralt whispered matching Jaskier's volume and squeezed the hand that bard was still holding.

"Then give it me, give me everything my love" there was urgency in Jaskier voice so Geralt just kissed him, it wasn't like the kiss from a few minutes ago. This one was needy, still gentle but this one was meant to show that Geralt will indeed give Jaskier everything.

"I am always going to look for you, checking if you're there." The Witcher said after they parted again. Jaskier knew what that meant  _ 'I won't look away _ '. And it wasn't enough, it was everything. In that moment Jaskier was in love and he could whisper it softly like he wanted. He was allowed.

"And I am always gonna be there, because all I ever want is a life with you my Dear." He responded knowing that the meaning of his words wasn't lost to the Witcher.

_ 'I am going to stay for as long as you have me.' _

**Author's Note:**

> I tired my best at fluff, is it fluffy? I hope so  
> The title is from a Mitski song "Strawberry Blond"   
> Anyway I hope you liked it and if you did please leave kudos and maybe a comment is you want! I would appreciate it,  
> You can find me on Twitter @humanishuman76 if you want,  
> Love D
> 
> DO NOT COPY MY WORKS TO ANOTHER SITE


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